Spices Update

A few weeks back I posted about SPICES and some goals that I have for myself.  I figured its time for an update... and some accountability.

So these are my Goals:

• Social: I will participate in three social activities per month.

I have been doing very well with this.  In the past month I went to play cards with a new couple, had dinner with a good friend, and went to a church Christmas celebration with another couple.  Coming up I have an evening with my college roommate and her husband planned, caroling in the community, and lots of family stuff (which only half counts because it doesn't "push" me socially, but is also really important to me).  So Success and Keep Going!

• Physical: I will exercise at least 30 minutes a day, six days a week.

Umm... I have not done this even once.  Ok. I should say that right after I posted my SPICES I got really sick. For more than three weeks I had serious trouble breathing as I fought an upper respiratory infection.  In general I would have gone to the doctor but due to a recent job change I spent the month of November without insurance, and therefore without medical attention.  I have been healthy for about a week now so its time to start my progress toward this goal... but I hate exercising.  Really really hate it... so if you have any suggestions on how to make this torturous event a little more palatable I will gladly listen.

• Intellectual: I will read one new book every month.

I just finished the first hunger games book, I'm reading the second as well as the second Cain adventure from Rick Riordan.  I want to find a "work" book to read during my down time at the office. I have been meaning to read Interviewing for Solutions and No Such Thing As A Bad Kid.  Oh and I also read two of the Series of Unfortunate Events books while I was visiting the Costa Ricans at Thanksgiving.  So check... but I really should read a work related book in the next month in additional to the fun ones.

• Creative: I will spend at least one hour per week crafting, cooking for fun, or otherwise expressing my inner self.

I have not been entirely successful with this goal.  Its Christmas time so I have been creating but I have not really been "feeling" it.  I have so many ideas but only one has really come to fruition thus far.  I have at least two more people I need to get gifts made for and then I am hopeful that I will get to focus a bit more on "expressing my inner self." First project post holiday season.... Halloween scrapbook. 

• Emotional: I will blog at least twice per week (My very own secret public journal)

I would say that I have been partially successful thus far.  I have post once or twice a week until last week when I disappeared for a short time.  Partly because I was planning this post but couldn't find the time to get out written out... partly because its a busy time of the year, and partly because when I started my new job I had a shiny little laptop with Windows 7 which totally support blogspot but then when I switched departments I had to give the laptop back and now the computer I'm using doesn't support blogspot. So I will keep working in this!  Thanks for sticking with me. 

• Spiritual: I will attend one new church each month until I find one to belong to.

I sorta cheated on this one because I went to my mom's church (which was not new but I have only been there once) with my husband only because he promised to help with the Christmas play.  That said... I went and I'm going back next week.

So that's where I'm at.  If you made it to the end of this post... extra special congratulations! Thanks for sticking with my ramblings! :)

Thandi, Love

Seventeen years ago a friend of ours knew some people who had found a stray dog, they couldn't care for it and somehow it turned out that the little animal came to live with us.  She was a rat of a dog, mixed with so many things that the vet didn't even want to venture a guess at what all she was... we called her a dober-mouse.  We named her Thandi, it means LOVE in Zulu. (You may remember that my parents have a tie to Africa) And she was mine... my dog. I fell in love her and I became an advocate for her, see, she wasn't really the best dog.  She chewed up furniture, shoes, glasses, retainers, ant traps, toys, modeling clay, etc...  She also barked a lot, and she was really, really difficult to house train. But she had a lot of energy, and she loved to play Frisbee... she and my dad's cat became fast friends and they got into all sort of trouble together. 

On Thursday we had to put her down. In the last year she took some sharp turns downhill.  She had doggie dementia, she could remember to sleep at night and not during the day, she would bark non stop, she was blind and deaf and had so much arthritis...  It was definitely the correct choice, it was so hard on my parents to care for her, but it is so sad. Seventeen years that little life was a part of mine. She brought a lot of joy and I will truly miss her. 

A Nerdy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was very nice. A bit of drama but honestly less than I expected so Win.

There were 16 people... definately a full house.

There was also a lot of pie.  7 total plus a raspberry brownie trifle...

Momma Bear and my neice had a great time baking up a storm.  

 There were two pumpkin, two pecan, an apple, a mice meat and a lemon meringe. Lots of hard work, and super appreciated.

The other big thing of the weekend was that Bear taught the newphews to play Magic the Gathering.  We figured it out and came to the conclusion that Bear has been playing this game for 18 years, and I've been playing since I started dating him so nearly 8 years.  Its fun, yes I know its a nerd game.  We took some of our decks a long with us to Thanksgiving in case we had some time or got bored... 

Well Bear asked the boys if they wanted to give it a try and they loved it...  really really loved it. 

We played a lot. Probably more this weekend than I have ever played in one weekend.   They took to it like fish to water... pretty soon they were beating Jake and I... that may have something to do with the awesome decks we were letting them use... but no matter the reason they gave us a challenge.

Thanks guys!

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving...

and I have a confession, it will be the first Thanksgiving I will spend apart from my family of origin.  See, although I have been married for six years and with my husband for nearly 8 years we have always spent Thanks giving separate or with my family.  This was partly due to the fact that his family didn't really have a set Thanksgiving plan when we first got together and partly because my family was closer, and party (ok maybe mostly) because I wanted to.  But for the past couple of years Brother Bear and the Costa Ricans have been doing Thanksgiving at their place.  Last year all of Bear's family (except him) were present at that celebration and he made me promise that this year we would have an honest discussion about splitting our holiday time between the two locations.  Unfortunately, they are far enough apart that both is not an option.  So this year rolled around and he announced that he was going up north for Thanksgiving and I was to come with him.  At first I thought ok... I really owe this to him. But then the reality of all I would miss out on hit me...  I was sitting at Grandma Dinner (every Sunday night my family takes my grandmother out to dinner) and C-Ham asked about the plan for Black Friday.  I was nearly in tears on the way home thinking that I was going to miss out on this annual tradition with my brother.  So I made a plan that involved going up North for Wednesday evening and Thursday and returning on Thursday night (late) to be able to shop with C-Ham on Friday.  Bear hated it.  He wanted to spend the whole weekend with his family.  I can't blame him but I was upset.  See he was all ready asking me to give up Rose's first Thanksgiving with our family, on a year where lots has changed and my mother won't be able to do the Thanksgiving cooking and now he was asking me to give up shopping with my brother on Friday.  It was too much and I revolted.  I told him I wasn't going. He could go, I would stay, my family needed me...  I would cook Thanksgiving dinner with them on Thursday, I would go shopping with my brother on Friday and I would come up to spend the rest of the weekend with him after I was good and done with my shopping.  He reluctantly agreed (after a lot of [probably deserved] grief).  So I triumphantly informed my family at the next Grandma Dinner... Guess What...  I won't be gone after all... I will save the day.  Now I can't say they weren't a little happy, but they weren't well ecstatic... in fact my mother was really quite concerned that I wouldn't be spending the holiday with Bear.  And then reality sank in. I was being selfish, I had made a promise, and I needed to grow up and go with Bear to his family Thanksgiving.  So I am headed up North today...  it will be great.  I am actually pretty excited about it, it just took my a little longer to get there than maybe it should have!  :)  Also Bear promised to go Black Friday shopping with me so that should be interesting... Wish me luck!

SPICES

I mentioned that I am a social worker... that honestly could mean a lot of different things but for me it means that I have spent the last seven years working with foster children, and their parents both foster and biological.  I loved it. However, life sorta happened and I needed a new job so I'm not doing that right now, sigh...  Moving on... While I was doing that I became a Parent Educator, its sorta awesome. I really like teaching and what better subject is there than teaching parenting.  OK so by now I hope your asking, "what does this have to do with SPICES?".  Well, the parenting curriculum that I like the best is the Steven Bavolek Nurturing Parenting curriculum.  One of his key components is that in order to be an effective parent you have to take care of yourself.  I personally think that this is true for just about everything... like in order to be a good wife, or an effective employee, or an informed consumer, you have to take care of yourself. Bavolek says we do this by recognizing our SPICES.  The SPICES are our needs, or to use Bavolek speak "the basic elements of human beings that dictate and influence our behavior. We all have different needs at different times, but they fall into one of six categories.
Social Needs: The need for friendship and companionship
Physical Needs: The need for food, sleep, exercise, sex, air, water.
Intellectual Needs: The need for stimulation of new ideas and thoughts.
Creative Needs: The need to express one's inner self.
Emotional Needs: The need for love, praise, security, trust, etc.
Spiritual Needs: The need for belonging and membership. The need to believe in the power of goodness."

I have historically not done so good at taking care of myself.  So I'm making goals for myself in each of these categories, and well that is what I intend to blog about.  Mostly... I am sure other stuff will make it in as well.

My Goals:
Social:           I will participate in three social activities per month.
Physical:        I will exercise at least 30 minutes a day, six days a week.
Intellectual:   I will read one new book every month.
Creative:       I will spend at least one hour per week crafting, cooking for fun, or otherwise expressing my inner self.
Emotional:     I will blog at least twice per week (My very own secret public journal)
Spiritual:       I will attend one new church each month until I find one to belong to.

I also intend to add new goals in each category as I either accomplish goals or they become routine.  I have quite a few but I also don't want to overwhelm myself with new behavior patterns.  This feels like a good start to me.  A little daunting but doable. I hope. with support. Right?

The Cast and Crew

Jessica – Me. A little about me, I was born in South Africa grew up in central Indiana and have traveled quite a bit. I am a social worker, I have mostly worked with foster parents, foster children and their biological parents. Right now I am working as a therapist. I am nearly 30 (like really close) and I’m married. I love making things, and reading. I listen to a lot of music, I sing along whether or not I know the words. There's a lot more but if I keep going I won't have anything to actually blog about...

Bear – My husband. He was born in California but moved to Indiana when he was in early elementary school. He is currently a student, studying to become a teacher (trust me we know the state of the education system). He used to work in the theater and would love to again someday but we needed him to find something more stable and he chose education. He is also nearly 30 (not as close as I am) and he’s married to me!

Mom – My mother. My mom is from Ohio but she’s kinda sorta awesome and after she graduated college she joined the Mennonite Central Committee’s Teacher Abroad Program and flew away to South Africa where she taught science in the rural (bush) areas of South Africa and Swaziland. She was also a science teacher to the crown price of Swaziland (I know awesome). While over there she met this guy, he was pretty nice and she decided to marry him, which led her to stay in South Africa for 10 years. Back state side she began working in campus ministry and eventually became a pastor. She is totally a hippie.

Dad – My father. He was born and raised in South Africa. He was also born with cerebral palsy, just on his right side. He was going along with his life and met this lovely lady with long dark hair and pretty blue eyes, not to mention that she was American! He fell in love and asked her to stay in the wild country of South Africa with him. Shortly after that he decided to go to seminary and while she taught science to royalty he studied to preach God’s word. This paired with marrying a hippie, he became a hippie too… and soon started thinking that the unjust Apartheid government should change. Well he started protesting, got into a little trouble and then decided to move to America (Ok, I am leaving out really big and important things in this wildly complex story but hopefully you get the gist, I’m trying to convey that he’s awesome too). For the last 30 years he has been serving small churches in central Indiana. Oh, and he has a master’s degree in counseling psychology.

C-Ham – My brother. He is a 27 year old Athletic Trainer at a nearby university. He is a Frisbee enthusiast, both ultimate and disc golf, mostly ultimate. He has recently lost a great deal of weight, and got engaged. He has a very dry sense of humor and a best friend, E. E might as well be another brother.

Rose – The almost sister in law. She is a 27 year old Physical Therapy Assistant who works with the elderly at a rehab facility. She is a judo black belt and she has a lot, I mean a lot of energy. I am currently helping to plan their wedding, super exciting!

Mama Bear (MB) – My mother in law. She is a super woman, go, go going all the time. She travels nearly constantly and is quick to aid her family with her presence. She has two collies, Toby and Duncan, she thinks that they are really smart. She really doesn’t go anywhere without them. She hails from California, and grew up a Navy kid. She currently spend a lot of time in Oregon where her father, nephew and brother are all living.

Papa Bear (PB) – My father in law. He’s also a pastor (in case you were counting that means that three out of my four “parents” are pastors). On top of that full time job he is also an author, he writes… a lot. Chances are if you have done a lot of devotionals (and you’re not super rightwing) you have a book by him, he’s prolific. He hails from California, grew up a Navy kid and is from a very large Hispanic family.

The Costa Ricans – Bear’s brother’s family. Including Brother Bear (BB) and his wife and their three kids (1 niece and 2 nephews) and a lot of extended family. Oh and they are from Costa Rica (well not BB but the rest of them).

Sister Bear – Bear’s sister. She is a teacher and recently divorced.

Reverend – Bear’s sister’s ex-husband. He’s not actually a reverend but if you knew him you’d know the nickname works.

Apple Pi Ladies – 15 of my closest friends who I went to college with. We made up a fake sorority because we are awesome like that, and because we went to a college that didn’t have a greek system.

The Nerd Boys – A random collection of guys that I play nerd games with. They have various locations and names and games, I like most of them and they are generally good for a laugh.

That’s all for now.

Beginning the Search

Dear Readers,

This is an experiment. I have enjoyed reading blogs for the past year or so and I have now decided to try my hand at the art of writing. When I was in fourth grade my teacher wrote on my valentine that I was "a left handed author who would someday sell." I don't know about the selling part but the idea of hitting the "Publish" button sure is exciting! So here's goes.

Enjoy!

Jessica