Vocabulary

I have been pretty busy in the past few months. I have this go, go, go feeling and every time I start to think about a blog post something else happens...

But tonight I asked my Dad to take me out to dinner and while out he told me I should blog, and since I'm a good daughter that's what I'm doing. And... well... Its still an hour until So You Think You Can Dance starts.  I love that show.

So I thought I would give you all a Vocabulary Lesson... here are some words that I try to live up to.

gen·u·ine 

adjective

1. possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
2. free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: a genuine person

When I was younger there were a lot of times in my life that I felt like I had to put a mask on, to present myself as what I felt others wanted me to be.  As I got older I made the decision that I didn't want to do that anymore... it became very important to me to become who I am all the time... to be genuinely Jessica.

ex·traor·di·nar·y

 

adjective

1. beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established:extraordinary costs.
2. exceptional in character, amount, extent, degree, etc.;noteworthy; remarkable: extraordinary speed; an extraordinary man.
3. (of an official, employee, etc.) outside of or additional to the ordinary staff; having a special, often temporary task orresponsibility: minister extraordinary and plenipotentiary.

Well this is a word that I have loved for as long back as I can remember.  I hate to brag (ok not really) but my family is pretty extraordinary.  I have always loved anytime I have been referred to as extraordinary.  I want to live an extraordinary life, I have chosen to do this by helping others, and my prayer is that in some way I am living up to my dream.

in·ten·tion·al

adjective

1. done with intention or on purpose; intended: an intentional insult.
2. of or pertaining to intention or purpose.

I have a good friend with a tattoo on her wrist that says "live with intent," its beautiful, I love it. IT made me think.  This is a really awesome idea.  In the last couple years I have challenged many of the people I work with to be intentional and I have endeavored to to do the same.  Intentionally love my husband, Intentionally spend time on myself, Intentionally honor my friendships...  Its hard but it is so much better than moving through life without making an impact.

peace

  

noun

1. the normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group ofnations, or the world.
2. a state of mutual harmony between people or groups,especially in personal relations: Try to live in peace with your neighbors.
3. the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security: He was arrested for being drunk and disturbing the peace.
4. cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.

Peace became a focus for me while in college, 9-11 happened - a war started, and I was attending a college affiliated with the Church of the Brethren, which is a historic peace church.  I was confronted with ideas and beliefs and in the end Peace and peaceful conflict resolution came out as really important to me.

faith·ful

adjective

1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.
2. true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.
3. steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.
4. reliable, trusted, or believed.
5. adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original;accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.

I grew up in a home with faith, I find that faith is very important to get through each day.  I once heard a sermon about the faith we place in things throughout our day such as I have faith that when I hit a light switch the light will come on.  The sermon challenged us to a greater faith, since that time I have attempted do live up to that challenge.  

So there are some of the words that I am trying to live up to.  I know that they are big words, in the sense that they are big concepts. But its my goal... I don't always meet it but the attempt it good!

It's My Birthday

Today I turn 30 years old. I have to admit that while a few months ago this number was daunting as it approached I discovered that it bothered me less and less...

I have honestly had a wonderful birthday.





I came home on Friday to some pretty flowers that Bear arranged for me.










Then we hosted a game night pitch-in, we played some great games, had a small nerf gun fight, and ate a lot of cupckaes (some friends of mine just finished a cake decorating class and they brought 40 cupcakes)






On Saturday I got a massage and then headed out to have dinner with some more friends on Saturday.  I also had a family dinner on Sunday, lunch today and I went to see the new movie Mirror Mirror.  Its been a great weekend and I super nice birthday.    I also get some very nice gifts...

Big shout of Thanks to Bear and his parents! 

These plus the new "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" movie, a couple gift cards, theatre tickets...  going to go see Young Frankenstein in a few weeks... a a few new games!

Oh and then there was my 30 by 30... lets see how I did!
Places to go:
1.  Church every Sunday - Accomplished
2.  Dinner Date with Bear - Accomplished
3.  Zumba class - The class I was going to go to got canceled when the instructor got a full time job... so I did not do this... 
4.  On a 3 mile walk - My longest walk was about a mile and half... but better than before and still a goal
5.  A Day Trip - Accomplished, I meant to blog about this... maybe I still will.
People to See/Connect with:
6.  Jessii - Accomplished
7.  Samantha - Wanted a face to face, settled with email
8.  Andrew - Accomplished
9.  Deana - Accomplished
10. Michelle - Not Accomplished... still a goal
11. Dave & Kim - Accomplished
12. Grandma - Accomplished
13. Celeste - Accomplished
14. Lauren - SUB Dan E.
15. Nicole & Andrew SUB Bonnie and Sam
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles - I did 75... which is 75 more than last month... so not quite but still really proud of myself.
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day - Accomplished
18. Catch up on laundry - do we ever truly catch up... we are pretty close and I'm happy.
19. Pack away seasonal decorations - Not accomplished... I am currently using my tubs at my office and until I can get some furniture I can't really bring the tubs home... I still want this done soon.
20. Rake and Weed the garden - NOT ACCOMPLISHED but must do soon!
21. Sew something - Accomplished
22. Read a whole book on kindle - Accomplished
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock - SUB BED - I didn't get the hammock hung but I did spend an afternoon reading.
24. Cook a South African dinner (SUB Mole Sauce) Accomplished
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA FAFSA done, TU app not done
26. Blog 6 times - I don't think I made six but close
27. Research diet options - going to subscribe to eMealz to help with planning and shopping Accomplished28. Start Halloween scrapbook - got picture printed - Accomplished
29. Get a massage - Accomplished30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night - Accomplished


I like the idea of having monthly goals, it help me hold myself accountable to myself so in the next month here are the things I want to work towards!
The things I want to do next month:
1.   Complete TU application
2.   Cook a South African dinner
3.   Hang Hammock
4.   Rake and Weed the garden
5.   Pack away seasonal decorations
6.   Sew pants
7.   Continue blogging
8.   Increase exercise to 40 mins per day
9.   Connect with, Nicole & Andrew, Michelle, Samantha
10. Go on 3 mile walk

Ups and Downs

There is this feeling in life that we have to have bad times so we can appreciate the good times.  I'm not really sure where this thought came from but I know that it is something that I took as a given until a few months ago.  I was at a training and the trainer started talking about how much of our life we'd be willing to settle for being not so good or bad... then she asked us how much we'd settle on for our children.  I know I don't have kids yet but it really got me thinking... why not strive for good all the time... why accept that bad things happen, I mean attitude shapes everything anyway right? 

So I am trying this thing where I focus on the ups and try to change my attitude about the downs in life.  I say all this to let you know that I think it might be working...  I really did not want to do my exercising the last two days and I did it anyway... I can't really say that they were affective workouts, or that I felt better after but I can say that I'm glad I'm not giving up and while I still HATE exercising I know its good for me in multiple ways. 

I can also say that overall this week has been an emotional one... Bear had some stuff to go through, I had some intense stuff happen that I'm still trying to figure out... but I know that I can keep my head up if I just take things one at time. 

Side Note...  the action plan is going well, I still have a lot to do and I have had to make a few substitutions but overall its going well, and that I can say I'm proud of! 
:)

Plan of Action

Given the amount of stuff I want to do in the next couple weeks I figured I better make a plan.  So here is my first attempt at a Google Doc as well as my idea on how to accomplish all that I want to accomplish.  I may not get it all done, and I'm okay with that, but I do want to put in a valiant effort! 
Feel free to let me know what you think. :)

Action Plan

A Collection of Thoughts: By Jessica

Six years ago I bought a new car... I had recently married Bear, we had money from the wedding for a really good down payment and I qualified for a GMC family discount. We bought a Chevy Malibu MAXX. Yesterday the title came in the mail and it feel weird to know that next month I don't have to send $300+ to a bank to keep the "Iron Fury" (that's what Bear calls the car).

This is not my car but it is an approximation!

I am leading a group tonight at work.  This always makes me nervous and jittery.  We are going to talk about family dynamics, a topic I feel confident about so I know it will go well.  I have this weird thing where I freak out about group therapy, but I'm fine if I call it teaching or training.  I can't explain it, maybe its because I have done a lot of teaching/training maybe its because I feel like therapy is more active than teaching... whatever it is at this point in my life group is a terrifying experience, that is until I'm at least 20 minutes in and then I'm fine.

My office is freezing cold, but I don't really want to increase the temperature because then it gets way too hot...  I just wish I had a cardigan.

I have been working on my 30 things...  I probably need to step it up a little... I originally thought well one thing per day, but that doesn't account for a some of things that I have challenged to do a few times or everyday and it also doesn't account for 10 to 12 hour work days where I'm not going to get something on the list accomplished.  So this weekend I need to knock a few off the list and make a plan for the rest!

I think that's all for now...  wish me luck for tonight and to get through my list!  :)

30 in 30

*disclaimer - I wrote this post on 03/02/12, but it has taken till now to get it into the computer and posted for your eyes, I have started to cross things off!

In 30 days I will be 30 years old. I hate to admit it but I'm struggling a bit with this number. I feel like this is becuase I had expectations about my life at 30 and while many of them have come to pass I am struggling to focus on those and not the expectations I have not met.  I have decided therefore that I need to do something to really ring in this new decade.  I was inspired by a couple of my friends who put a lot more thought and dedication into this idea Amy and Jessii (you should totally check out these links cause I'm super excited that I figured out how to do this).  But I did really think through what I want the next month to look like... so here it is, the things I want to accomplish in the next 30 days.

Places to go:
1.  Church every Sunday
2.  Dinner Date with Bear
3.  Zumba class
4.  On a 3 mile walk
5.  A Day Trip
People to See/Connect with:
6.  Jessii
7.  Samantha
8.  Andrew
9.  Deana
10. Michelle
11. Dave & Kim
12. Grandma
13. Celeste
14. Lauren
15. Nicole & Andrew
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day
18. Catch up on laundry
19. Pack away seasonal decorations
20. Rake and Weed the graden
21. Sew somthing
22. Read a whole book on kindle
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock
24. Cook a South African dinner
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA
26. Blog 6 times
27. Research diet options
28. Start Halloween scrapbook
29. Get a massage
30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night

The Start Button

On video games there is usually a start button.  When I was younger if you hit the start button your game would sometimes reset and go back to the beginning.  This was both good and bad.  It meant that if your brother was mad at you he could hit the button and loose your progress (honestly that happened mostly the other way around), and it also meant that if the game wasn't going well you could hit the button and get back to a point where it was going well.  So that's what I'm doing now.  I need to restart. 

I doubt that this will be the last restart but who knows (I am working on the being positive thing).  I disclosed a while back that I am in a battle with depression.  Part of this fight has been working on how I manage myself and my stress.  The past month has been stressful, not all bad stress but stress just the same.  I am planning a wedding, getting settled into a new job, and worrying about my health and the complications that come with that.  I also have been really scared recently about the future.  I know I can't predict it, I know I can't control it... I can worry about, I shouldn't worry about it but since that all I can really DO... I DO it.  See, Bear and I are thinking about starting a family.  But I haven't met all my conditions yet... I had this idea that there were certain things that would have happened in my life by the time I was ready for kids they are as follows:

1. Be semi-fluent in Spanish
2. Both have jobs
3. Have a dog
4. Have a monthly cleaning lady
5. Weigh less

None of those have come to pass, and yet I really want a kid.  So I am feeling torn and putting a lot of pressure on myself to figure out are these things necessary, are they good ideas, what do I really need, what is negotiable, how much am I willing to negotiate... 

See how I worry.

So that's sort of where I am right now. Trying to fight my depression, figure out the future, and stay in the present.  I'm trying to take it day by day and not get overwhelmed but that hasn't been the case this month... here's to March. I am making a plan which I'll post about soon, we will see if that helps!

Stay tuned...