Dear Clients,
I am leaving you, it is sad for me and I truly hope that in doing so I do not harm any one. I was offered a position that aligns better with my current needs, namely flexibility. See I have a new baby and I know that at some point he is going to need me to stay home with him and I want to be able to to that without jeopardizing your treatment and care. I also really want to return to school so that I can begin working on my dream of becoming a professor. It is for these very good reasons that I have made the decision to leave you.
It was a hard decision. It was difficult because you have taught me so much about my self, and about people/life in general; and that is something I cannot repay. I hope that I have been helpful, I hope that the seeds planted in the past two and half years will grow in your life and give you some peace, or happiness, or whatever it was that you came in search of. It is my ever present hope that the stigma and marginalization of people with mental illness will continue to diminish. You are strong, you are brave, you are creative, you are more than you think you are.
Thank you for showing me both what fear and courage look like. Thank you helping me learn how to better communicate in my relationships. Thank you for offering me accountability in my own life. Thank you for demonstrating resilience, resourcefulness, and (at times) responsibility. Thank you for making me "practice what I preach." Thank you. I am a better person for my time with you, I am a far better therapist and social worker. I will take the lessons you have given me and I will pass them along.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Looking for a way to talk to others about your mental health, this video might help you find the right words. Looking for a way to advocate or get involved in communities to stop the stigma of mental illness, please visit http://www.nami.org/ and find a place or a way to get involved.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Mother's Day
Dear Mother's Day,
This year I celebrated You from a new perspective and to be quite honest it didn't go "right." I understand that this is, in large part my fault, and I am really working on owning that fact. I was unprepared, and I didn't understand my wants, needs or feelings related to you. See, I believe that there are some thing in life you should make a fuss about, and there are some things in life that I don't think deserve a fuss. I didn't think You deserved a fuss so I told my Bear not to get anything (This usually means that he will spend less then $20. Which he did.). But a few weeks before You got here we had my parents over and we decided that we wanted to watch a movie... as we talked about what movie to watch I said that if we were at their house we could use their "On Demand" to watch Catching Fire as none of us had seen it. This prompted Bear to give me my gift (Catching Fire) early so we could all watch it together. Is was a nice evening and I enjoyed the movie. But then You got here for real.
I should also tell you, dear Mother's Day, that the week You were scheduled to get here my Mother had to have surgery. She is doing OK, healing, but it was a pretty big deal. She got out of the hospital the day before You. So when You get here I went to my mom's place to be with her so she didn't have to be alone while my dad was preaching. This meant I woke up early and got out of the house as quickly as is possible with my three month old so that we could be with Nana. Bear decided that he would bring us breakfast but there was a bit of miscommunication (thank you text messaging) and I didn't exactly get my order. Then our little bear had a huge freak out and I realized that I forget his pacifier at home so Bear drove back home to get the pacifier, which was so nice of him but that meant that we used up all the family time we had before he had to go to work. So off goes Bear after dropping off the pacifier.
As the day went on there were plenty of things that were nice, I got to nap with little bear and had some really nice talks with my parents. I got a book to read with Little Bear that will be really nice and some new burp clothes because even though I now own about 20 I can still never find one when I need one. But in the end I felt disappointed. There was no fanfare, there was nothing special about the day. And honestly after the surgery and a few others things that happened that week I was still really stressed. Now that I am on this side of Your visit I am moving past the disappointment and I have learned a lesson. I want just a little rigmarole. I want a gift (on Mother's Day) not a pricey one but something. I want a nice dinner, preferably one I don't have to cook, is not circular, and has never been frozen.
Next year Mother's day I know what I am going to do and I am going to much better prepared to enjoy You rather than feel let down by You. I've got your number, and I've got a plan.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
A Year in Review
Dear Internet,
Last February I stopped blogging. But today I'd like to begin again.
So a year (and a bit) has gone by and these have been some big changes in my life. The biggest of which is that I had a baby. Little Bear (as he will be referred to here) is now three months old. Shortly before he was born someone told me that being is parent is like having your heart walk outside of your body, I smiled, now I understand.
Last February I stopped blogging. But today I'd like to begin again.
So a year (and a bit) has gone by and these have been some big changes in my life. The biggest of which is that I had a baby. Little Bear (as he will be referred to here) is now three months old. Shortly before he was born someone told me that being is parent is like having your heart walk outside of your body, I smiled, now I understand.
 |
| @ the hospital, minutes after being born :) (photo credit: amy) |
 |
| Little Bear and his Mommy (photo credit: amy) |
Becoming a mom is a whole new level of new. But I am having fun (for the most part) and I have discovered that I'm pretty well suited to motherhood. Big Bear always wanted kids; I on the other hand just thought if it happened it would be OK. But after trying to get for more than two and half years I was really invested in being a mom. In April last year our little miracle was conceived and after an arduous 10 months of waiting (and vomiting) I finally got to meet him. I was super blessed to have a friend there to document the whole thing, if you care to you can read more about it here: http://www.mostlynonsense365.com/2014/01/birth.html
So to put my year in review, I got pregnant, I was sick a lot, I had a baby, I adjusted to life with baby and then I returned to work where I had to adjust to life as a working mommy. I hope to start documenting life a little bit more and I hope you won't mind reading about my new adventure.
Always,
Jessica
Monday, February 18, 2013
Developer
The second strength that the Strength's Finder Assessment (see previous blog post) identified for me was that of Developer.
This is one that I sort of struggle with, its not that I don't think that I have this strength, its just that I'm not certain I would put it in my top 5. Overall, I think I need to spend some more time with this strength and really see where it fits into my life and how. But for now... let me tell you more about it!
You see the potential in others. Very often, potential is all you see. In you r view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others , your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth - a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skills, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps.
As I spend more time with this strength I think I must remind myself and every person gets to choose what they do with their potential. They get to make the choices for their own lives and I can't get down on myself for the choices that other's make. Definitely something to remember!
This is one that I sort of struggle with, its not that I don't think that I have this strength, its just that I'm not certain I would put it in my top 5. Overall, I think I need to spend some more time with this strength and really see where it fits into my life and how. But for now... let me tell you more about it!
DEVELOPER
You see the potential in others. Very often, potential is all you see. In you r view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others , your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth - a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skills, a glimpse of excellence or of "flow" where previously there were only halting steps.
For you these small increments - invisible to some - are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in other are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
I found the image below on google while I was thinking about being a developer. It really got me thinking about the times in other's lives that I have seen potential and encouraged it. I think that this is a strength I struggle with because I want it to be paired with motivator. For me, if someone sees something in themselves, I can encourage the heck out of them. I can help them navigate road blocks and can really assist in positive growth. However, I am not a natural motivator, so if I see something in someone that they don't see I get really frustrated when they don't do anything about it. At which point I don't feel like a developer.
As I spend more time with this strength I think I must remind myself and every person gets to choose what they do with their potential. They get to make the choices for their own lives and I can't get down on myself for the choices that other's make. Definitely something to remember!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Empathy
Can you believe its all ready February 2013?
I can't.
I also can't believe how long it has been since I put fingers to keyboard and wrote a blog post.
Generally this means that I haven't been doing the best job in taking care of myself (oops). So as it's a new year (or the second month of a new year) I have recommitted to self-care. <3
A while back I started to describe strengths and I still think that's a good place to go. The first strength that the Strength's Finder Assessment (see previous blog post) identified for me was that of Empathy.
What is empathy? Well Strengths Finder 2.0 (by Tom Rath) defines it like this:
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament - this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings - to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
I have to say that this is one of the strengths that both the assessment and I agreed upon. And I LOVE the description. I cannot enumerate the number of times that people have told me that they wish they could phrase things the way I do, or that I can take the confused mess of words they say and turn it into something they can truly connect with. It is one of the things that I love most about myself. It is also something that at different points in my life I figured that everyone could do and have had to then remind myself that it is a strength and something special about me. With a strength like this I guess it make sense that I was drawn to social work.
When I went off to college I thought I wanted to major in psychology, but my Dad talked me into looking into social work as well. Then I got to college and during my first advisor session I was told that it would be almost impossible to major in both psychology and social work. Well, that sort of sealed the deal for me. I knew I wanted to do both, and do it in four years. So I did. But over that four years I realized that I was far more a social worker than a psychologist. I gravitated toward seeing the person as a whole which includes their environment, culture, relationships, history, etc. I know now that this connection with my field has a lot to do with my strengths, one of those being empathy.
Do you think empathy is one of your strenghs? What strengths help you with your job/calling/profession? How did you find your calling?
I can't.
I also can't believe how long it has been since I put fingers to keyboard and wrote a blog post.
Generally this means that I haven't been doing the best job in taking care of myself (oops). So as it's a new year (or the second month of a new year) I have recommitted to self-care. <3
A while back I started to describe strengths and I still think that's a good place to go. The first strength that the Strength's Finder Assessment (see previous blog post) identified for me was that of Empathy.
What is empathy? Well Strengths Finder 2.0 (by Tom Rath) defines it like this:
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person's perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person's predicament - this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings - to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
I have to say that this is one of the strengths that both the assessment and I agreed upon. And I LOVE the description. I cannot enumerate the number of times that people have told me that they wish they could phrase things the way I do, or that I can take the confused mess of words they say and turn it into something they can truly connect with. It is one of the things that I love most about myself. It is also something that at different points in my life I figured that everyone could do and have had to then remind myself that it is a strength and something special about me. With a strength like this I guess it make sense that I was drawn to social work.
When I went off to college I thought I wanted to major in psychology, but my Dad talked me into looking into social work as well. Then I got to college and during my first advisor session I was told that it would be almost impossible to major in both psychology and social work. Well, that sort of sealed the deal for me. I knew I wanted to do both, and do it in four years. So I did. But over that four years I realized that I was far more a social worker than a psychologist. I gravitated toward seeing the person as a whole which includes their environment, culture, relationships, history, etc. I know now that this connection with my field has a lot to do with my strengths, one of those being empathy.
Do you think empathy is one of your strenghs? What strengths help you with your job/calling/profession? How did you find your calling?
Friday, October 5, 2012
My Top 5
A few months ago at work we were given a book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath. The gift came with a directive to log onto the website and take a short(ish) assessment to discover your top 5 strengths. Which I promtply (two days before it was due) did. I have to say that overall the results were interesting; I don't know that I fully agree with the strengths that the assessment came up with for me.
[Here's the part where I have to take some responsibility, I did the assessment too quickly, I didn't read anything before hand and I really didn't care what it would say becuase it was for a work retreat that I didn't really want to go to.]
That said, when it was all over I was left with a list of strengths that I felt didn't quite fit and then I was very disappointed becuase I couldn't retake the assessment in a more calm state of being. Mr. Rath or his company (whichever) has limited the assessment to once per book. For a minute I almost bought a second book, until I realized I was being crazy over something that didn't really matter.
The book lists 34 different strengths... I feel fairly certain that I can list them, but for more than that you might have to buy/borrow the book. I bolded the ones I identified for myself (yes, there are more than five) and underlined the ones the assessment identified for me. All five of the assessment one were ones I connected with I'm just not sure I would have put them in the top 5.
The strengths are:
Achiever
Activator
Adaptability
Analytical
Arranger
Belief
Command
Communication
Competition
Cennectedness
Consistency
Context
Deliberative
Developer
Discipline
Empathy
Focus
Futuristic
Harmony
Ideation
Includer
Individualism
Input
Intellection
Learner
Maximizer
Positivitiy
Relator
Responsibility
Resorative
Self-Assurance
Significane
Strategic
Woo
So why don't I fully agree with the results?
When I did finally go back and read about the assessment I learned that if you answer uncertain to questions it basically throws those questions out... I believe that given the time rush, I answered with too many uncertains which I also blieve if I could do it again would result in a different top 5. But I got what I got and...
I thought that to get back into this blogging thing (yes I know I've been gone) I would talk about
My Top 5...
Not right now! But over the next few weeks :)
Love!
[Here's the part where I have to take some responsibility, I did the assessment too quickly, I didn't read anything before hand and I really didn't care what it would say becuase it was for a work retreat that I didn't really want to go to.]
That said, when it was all over I was left with a list of strengths that I felt didn't quite fit and then I was very disappointed becuase I couldn't retake the assessment in a more calm state of being. Mr. Rath or his company (whichever) has limited the assessment to once per book. For a minute I almost bought a second book, until I realized I was being crazy over something that didn't really matter.
The book lists 34 different strengths... I feel fairly certain that I can list them, but for more than that you might have to buy/borrow the book. I bolded the ones I identified for myself (yes, there are more than five) and underlined the ones the assessment identified for me. All five of the assessment one were ones I connected with I'm just not sure I would have put them in the top 5.
The strengths are:
Achiever
Activator
Adaptability
AnalyticalArranger
Belief
Command
Communication
Competition
Cennectedness
Consistency
Context
Deliberative
Developer
Discipline
Empathy
Focus
Futuristic
Harmony
Ideation
Includer
Individualism
Input
Intellection
Learner
Maximizer
Positivitiy
Relator
Responsibility
Resorative
Self-Assurance
Significane
Strategic
Woo
So why don't I fully agree with the results?
When I did finally go back and read about the assessment I learned that if you answer uncertain to questions it basically throws those questions out... I believe that given the time rush, I answered with too many uncertains which I also blieve if I could do it again would result in a different top 5. But I got what I got and...
I thought that to get back into this blogging thing (yes I know I've been gone) I would talk about
My Top 5...
Not right now! But over the next few weeks :)
Love!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Website Obsession
There are a few websites that I just can't give up. They have different purposes; some make me smile, or think, or learn, whatever their function I just can't (haven't actually tried) give them up.
1. Facebook - Now I've gone months without checking this most addictive website, but I can't get rid of it completely, its basically my dominant email address now. I like status updates and pictures and I have fun cyber stalking people. I did give up all my FB games because I was spending too much time on it, I think that's good enough.
2. Pinterest - It makes me so happy, it inspires me, I love pinning, repinning, liking. Its awesome. I have in the past made real life pin boards but the virtual ones are easier and cheaper, and less time consuming, (or at least I tell myself they are).
3. YouTube - my favorite, favorite channel is Geek and Sundry! I am still sort of learning channels and looking for other good ones to follow, but overall I know I can count on You Tube to have the music video I want to see, or a season of America's Next Top Model that I can watch while I'm sick in bed.
4. Netflix - Ok, I have to admit that this might not actually be a website... but I watch Netflix on my computer and kindle mostly so its web based. Hello, TV on demand. So bad for me, but I love it. I can say I try to have at least one show on Netflix at a time that I will not allow myself to watch unless I'm watching while exercising. I should also mention I haven't seen an episode of Scrubs for more than a month now. Drat.
5. Sevenly - This is my newest obsession. It is a website that does cause t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags and so on. Each week they have a new cause and they sell the goods for the week giving a share of the profit to the organization that are building awareness for during the week. It increases both funding and awareness for the organization. So awesome!
6. Etsy - Someday I think I may open my own etsy shop but until that time I really like seeing both the amazing and possible things people try to sell on this lovely little website. Talk about inspiration!
7. Amazon.com - I would buy everything in my life from this website for free two day shipping if I could get away with it. I am in LOVE with the new Kindle Owner's Lending Library. I am in LOVE with free books and music. And I am in LOVE with the Cloud. Not to mention that I can store my wish list, organize the gifts that people want or that I have purchased for them, and that I can buy just about everything I want/need. Have I ever told you that they sell Turkish Delight, the good kind? Cause they do!
8. Google - Remember when you had a question and you'd have to talk to people or open an encyclopedia, my (future hypothetical) kids won't! Oh Google, I love it when they have "special days" and I learn new things, I love that I can ask it anything I want. Not to even mention Google Maps, Google Earth, Google Reader, Gmail, G+, etc.
9. Remax - I know this is a little weird, but I love looking at houses. Floor plans, decorations, I find it all interesting and information regarding my future home buying information.
10. TED Talks - So challenging, so interesting, so much to learn to grow from and enjoy.
So just a little more insight into the mind of me!
:)
1. Facebook - Now I've gone months without checking this most addictive website, but I can't get rid of it completely, its basically my dominant email address now. I like status updates and pictures and I have fun cyber stalking people. I did give up all my FB games because I was spending too much time on it, I think that's good enough.
2. Pinterest - It makes me so happy, it inspires me, I love pinning, repinning, liking. Its awesome. I have in the past made real life pin boards but the virtual ones are easier and cheaper, and less time consuming, (or at least I tell myself they are).
3. YouTube - my favorite, favorite channel is Geek and Sundry! I am still sort of learning channels and looking for other good ones to follow, but overall I know I can count on You Tube to have the music video I want to see, or a season of America's Next Top Model that I can watch while I'm sick in bed.
4. Netflix - Ok, I have to admit that this might not actually be a website... but I watch Netflix on my computer and kindle mostly so its web based. Hello, TV on demand. So bad for me, but I love it. I can say I try to have at least one show on Netflix at a time that I will not allow myself to watch unless I'm watching while exercising. I should also mention I haven't seen an episode of Scrubs for more than a month now. Drat.
5. Sevenly - This is my newest obsession. It is a website that does cause t-shirts, hoodies, tote bags and so on. Each week they have a new cause and they sell the goods for the week giving a share of the profit to the organization that are building awareness for during the week. It increases both funding and awareness for the organization. So awesome!
6. Etsy - Someday I think I may open my own etsy shop but until that time I really like seeing both the amazing and possible things people try to sell on this lovely little website. Talk about inspiration!
7. Amazon.com - I would buy everything in my life from this website for free two day shipping if I could get away with it. I am in LOVE with the new Kindle Owner's Lending Library. I am in LOVE with free books and music. And I am in LOVE with the Cloud. Not to mention that I can store my wish list, organize the gifts that people want or that I have purchased for them, and that I can buy just about everything I want/need. Have I ever told you that they sell Turkish Delight, the good kind? Cause they do!
8. Google - Remember when you had a question and you'd have to talk to people or open an encyclopedia, my (future hypothetical) kids won't! Oh Google, I love it when they have "special days" and I learn new things, I love that I can ask it anything I want. Not to even mention Google Maps, Google Earth, Google Reader, Gmail, G+, etc.
9. Remax - I know this is a little weird, but I love looking at houses. Floor plans, decorations, I find it all interesting and information regarding my future home buying information.
10. TED Talks - So challenging, so interesting, so much to learn to grow from and enjoy.
So just a little more insight into the mind of me!
:)
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Vocabulary
I have been pretty busy in the past few months. I have this go, go, go feeling and every time I start to think about a blog post something else happens...
But tonight I asked my Dad to take me out to dinner and while out he told me I should blog, and since I'm a good daughter that's what I'm doing. And... well... Its still an hour until So You Think You Can Dance starts. I love that show.
So I thought I would give you all a Vocabulary Lesson... here are some words that I try to live up to.
in·ten·tion·al
But tonight I asked my Dad to take me out to dinner and while out he told me I should blog, and since I'm a good daughter that's what I'm doing. And... well... Its still an hour until So You Think You Can Dance starts. I love that show.
So I thought I would give you all a Vocabulary Lesson... here are some words that I try to live up to.
gen·u·ine
adjective
- possessing the claimed or attributed character, quality, origin; not counterfeit; authentic; real: genuine sympathy; a genuine antique.
- free from pretense, affectation, or hypocrisy; sincere: a genuine person
When I was younger there were a lot of times in my life that I felt like I had to put a mask on, to present myself as what I felt others wanted me to be. As I got older I made the decision that I didn't want to do that anymore... it became very important to me to become who I am all the time... to be genuinely Jessica.
ex·traor·di·nar·y
adjective
- beyond what is usual, ordinary, regular, or established:extraordinary costs.
- exceptional in character, amount, extent, degree, etc.;noteworthy; remarkable: extraordinary speed; an extraordinary man.
- (of an official, employee, etc.) outside of or additional to the ordinary staff; having a special, often temporary task orresponsibility: minister extraordinary and plenipotentiary.
Well this is a word that I have loved for as long back as I can remember. I hate to brag (ok not really) but my family is pretty extraordinary. I have always loved anytime I have been referred to as extraordinary. I want to live an extraordinary life, I have chosen to do this by helping others, and my prayer is that in some way I am living up to my dream.
adjective
- done with intention or on purpose; intended: an intentional insult.
- of or pertaining to intention or purpose.
I have a good friend with a tattoo on her wrist that says "live with intent," its beautiful, I love it. IT made me think. This is a really awesome idea. In the last couple years I have challenged many of the people I work with to be intentional and I have endeavored to to do the same. Intentionally love my husband, Intentionally spend time on myself, Intentionally honor my friendships... Its hard but it is so much better than moving through life without making an impact.
peace
noun
- the normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group ofnations, or the world.
- a state of mutual harmony between people or groups,especially in personal relations: Try to live in peace with your neighbors.
- the normal freedom from civil commotion and violence of a community; public order and security: He was arrested for being drunk and disturbing the peace.
- cessation of or freedom from any strife or dissension.
Peace became a focus for me while in college, 9-11 happened - a war started, and I was attending a college affiliated with the Church of the Brethren, which is a historic peace church. I was confronted with ideas and beliefs and in the end Peace and peaceful conflict resolution came out as really important to me.
faith·ful
adjective
- strict or thorough in the performance of duty: a faithful worker.
- true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.
- steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithful friends.
- reliable, trusted, or believed.
- adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original;accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.
I grew up in a home with faith, I find that faith is very important to get through each day. I once heard a sermon about the faith we place in things throughout our day such as I have faith that when I hit a light switch the light will come on. The sermon challenged us to a greater faith, since that time I have attempted do live up to that challenge.
So there are some of the words that I am trying to live up to. I know that they are big words, in the sense that they are big concepts. But its my goal... I don't always meet it but the attempt it good!
Monday, April 2, 2012
It's My Birthday
Today I turn 30 years old. I have to admit that while a few months ago this number was daunting as it approached I discovered that it bothered me less and less...
I have honestly had a wonderful birthday.
I came home on Friday to some pretty flowers that Bear arranged for me.
Then we hosted a game night pitch-in, we played some great games, had a small nerf gun fight, and ate a lot of cupckaes (some friends of mine just finished a cake decorating class and they brought 40 cupcakes)
On Saturday I got a massage and then headed out to have dinner with some more friends on Saturday. I also had a family dinner on Sunday, lunch today and I went to see the new movie Mirror Mirror. Its been a great weekend and I super nice birthday. I also get some very nice gifts...
These plus the new "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" movie, a couple gift cards, theatre tickets... going to go see Young Frankenstein in a few weeks... a a few new games!
Oh and then there was my 30 by 30... lets see how I did!
Places to go:
1. Church every Sunday - Accomplished
2. Dinner Date with Bear - Accomplished
3. Zumba class - The class I was going to go to got canceled when the instructor got a full time job... so I did not do this...
4. On a 3 mile walk - My longest walk was about a mile and half... but better than before and still a goal
5. A Day Trip - Accomplished, I meant to blog about this... maybe I still will.
People to See/Connect with:
6. Jessii - Accomplished
7. Samantha - Wanted a face to face, settled with email
8. Andrew - Accomplished
9. Deana - Accomplished
10. Michelle - Not Accomplished... still a goal
11. Dave & Kim - Accomplished
12. Grandma - Accomplished
13. Celeste - Accomplished
14. Lauren - SUB Dan E.
15. Nicole & Andrew SUB Bonnie and Sam
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles - I did 75... which is 75 more than last month... so not quite but still really proud of myself.
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day - Accomplished
18. Catch up on laundry - do we ever truly catch up... we are pretty close and I'm happy.
19. Pack away seasonal decorations - Not accomplished... I am currently using my tubs at my office and until I can get some furniture I can't really bring the tubs home... I still want this done soon.
20. Rake and Weed the garden - NOT ACCOMPLISHED but must do soon!
21. Sew something - Accomplished
22. Read a whole book on kindle - Accomplished
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock - SUB BED - I didn't get the hammock hung but I did spend an afternoon reading.
24. Cook a South African dinner (SUB Mole Sauce) Accomplished
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA FAFSA done, TU app not done
26. Blog 6 times - I don't think I made six but close
27. Research diet options - going to subscribe to eMealz to help with planning and shopping Accomplished28. Start Halloween scrapbook - got picture printed - Accomplished
29. Get a massage - Accomplished30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night - Accomplished
I like the idea of having monthly goals, it help me hold myself accountable to myself so in the next month here are the things I want to work towards!
The things I want to do next month:
1. Complete TU application
2. Cook a South African dinner
3. Hang Hammock
4. Rake and Weed the garden
5. Pack away seasonal decorations
6. Sew pants
7. Continue blogging
8. Increase exercise to 40 mins per day
9. Connect with, Nicole & Andrew, Michelle, Samantha
10. Go on 3 mile walk
I have honestly had a wonderful birthday.
I came home on Friday to some pretty flowers that Bear arranged for me.
Then we hosted a game night pitch-in, we played some great games, had a small nerf gun fight, and ate a lot of cupckaes (some friends of mine just finished a cake decorating class and they brought 40 cupcakes)
On Saturday I got a massage and then headed out to have dinner with some more friends on Saturday. I also had a family dinner on Sunday, lunch today and I went to see the new movie Mirror Mirror. Its been a great weekend and I super nice birthday. I also get some very nice gifts...
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| Big shout of Thanks to Bear and his parents! |
These plus the new "Girl with a Dragon Tattoo" movie, a couple gift cards, theatre tickets... going to go see Young Frankenstein in a few weeks... a a few new games!
Oh and then there was my 30 by 30... lets see how I did!
Places to go:
1. Church every Sunday - Accomplished
2. Dinner Date with Bear - Accomplished
3. Zumba class - The class I was going to go to got canceled when the instructor got a full time job... so I did not do this...
4. On a 3 mile walk - My longest walk was about a mile and half... but better than before and still a goal
5. A Day Trip - Accomplished, I meant to blog about this... maybe I still will.
People to See/Connect with:
6. Jessii - Accomplished
7. Samantha - Wanted a face to face, settled with email
8. Andrew - Accomplished
9. Deana - Accomplished
10. Michelle - Not Accomplished... still a goal
11. Dave & Kim - Accomplished
12. Grandma - Accomplished
13. Celeste - Accomplished
14. Lauren - SUB Dan E.
15. Nicole & Andrew SUB Bonnie and Sam
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles - I did 75... which is 75 more than last month... so not quite but still really proud of myself.
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day - Accomplished
18. Catch up on laundry - do we ever truly catch up... we are pretty close and I'm happy.
19. Pack away seasonal decorations - Not accomplished... I am currently using my tubs at my office and until I can get some furniture I can't really bring the tubs home... I still want this done soon.
20. Rake and Weed the garden - NOT ACCOMPLISHED but must do soon!
21. Sew something - Accomplished
22. Read a whole book on kindle - Accomplished
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock - SUB BED - I didn't get the hammock hung but I did spend an afternoon reading.
24. Cook a South African dinner (SUB Mole Sauce) Accomplished
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA FAFSA done, TU app not done
26. Blog 6 times - I don't think I made six but close
27. Research diet options - going to subscribe to eMealz to help with planning and shopping Accomplished28. Start Halloween scrapbook - got picture printed - Accomplished
29. Get a massage - Accomplished30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night - Accomplished
I like the idea of having monthly goals, it help me hold myself accountable to myself so in the next month here are the things I want to work towards!
The things I want to do next month:
1. Complete TU application
2. Cook a South African dinner
3. Hang Hammock
4. Rake and Weed the garden
5. Pack away seasonal decorations
6. Sew pants
7. Continue blogging
8. Increase exercise to 40 mins per day
9. Connect with, Nicole & Andrew, Michelle, Samantha
10. Go on 3 mile walk
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Ups and Downs
There is this feeling in life that we have to have bad times so we can appreciate the good times. I'm not really sure where this thought came from but I know that it is something that I took as a given until a few months ago. I was at a training and the trainer started talking about how much of our life we'd be willing to settle for being not so good or bad... then she asked us how much we'd settle on for our children. I know I don't have kids yet but it really got me thinking... why not strive for good all the time... why accept that bad things happen, I mean attitude shapes everything anyway right?
So I am trying this thing where I focus on the ups and try to change my attitude about the downs in life. I say all this to let you know that I think it might be working... I really did not want to do my exercising the last two days and I did it anyway... I can't really say that they were affective workouts, or that I felt better after but I can say that I'm glad I'm not giving up and while I still HATE exercising I know its good for me in multiple ways.
I can also say that overall this week has been an emotional one... Bear had some stuff to go through, I had some intense stuff happen that I'm still trying to figure out... but I know that I can keep my head up if I just take things one at time.
Side Note... the action plan is going well, I still have a lot to do and I have had to make a few substitutions but overall its going well, and that I can say I'm proud of!
:)
So I am trying this thing where I focus on the ups and try to change my attitude about the downs in life. I say all this to let you know that I think it might be working... I really did not want to do my exercising the last two days and I did it anyway... I can't really say that they were affective workouts, or that I felt better after but I can say that I'm glad I'm not giving up and while I still HATE exercising I know its good for me in multiple ways.
I can also say that overall this week has been an emotional one... Bear had some stuff to go through, I had some intense stuff happen that I'm still trying to figure out... but I know that I can keep my head up if I just take things one at time.
Side Note... the action plan is going well, I still have a lot to do and I have had to make a few substitutions but overall its going well, and that I can say I'm proud of!
:)
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Plan of Action
Given the amount of stuff I want to do in the next couple weeks I figured I better make a plan. So here is my first attempt at a Google Doc as well as my idea on how to accomplish all that I want to accomplish. I may not get it all done, and I'm okay with that, but I do want to put in a valiant effort!
Feel free to let me know what you think. :)
Action Plan
Feel free to let me know what you think. :)
Action Plan
Thursday, March 8, 2012
A Collection of Thoughts: By Jessica
Six years ago I bought a new car... I had recently married Bear, we had money from the wedding for a really good down payment and I qualified for a GMC family discount. We bought a Chevy Malibu MAXX. Yesterday the title came in the mail and it feel weird to know that next month I don't have to send $300+ to a bank to keep the "Iron Fury" (that's what Bear calls the car).
I am leading a group tonight at work. This always makes me nervous and jittery. We are going to talk about family dynamics, a topic I feel confident about so I know it will go well. I have this weird thing where I freak out about group therapy, but I'm fine if I call it teaching or training. I can't explain it, maybe its because I have done a lot of teaching/training maybe its because I feel like therapy is more active than teaching... whatever it is at this point in my life group is a terrifying experience, that is until I'm at least 20 minutes in and then I'm fine.
My office is freezing cold, but I don't really want to increase the temperature because then it gets way too hot... I just wish I had a cardigan.
I have been working on my 30 things... I probably need to step it up a little... I originally thought well one thing per day, but that doesn't account for a some of things that I have challenged to do a few times or everyday and it also doesn't account for 10 to 12 hour work days where I'm not going to get something on the list accomplished. So this weekend I need to knock a few off the list and make a plan for the rest!
I think that's all for now... wish me luck for tonight and to get through my list! :)
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| This is not my car but it is an approximation! |
My office is freezing cold, but I don't really want to increase the temperature because then it gets way too hot... I just wish I had a cardigan.
I have been working on my 30 things... I probably need to step it up a little... I originally thought well one thing per day, but that doesn't account for a some of things that I have challenged to do a few times or everyday and it also doesn't account for 10 to 12 hour work days where I'm not going to get something on the list accomplished. So this weekend I need to knock a few off the list and make a plan for the rest!
I think that's all for now... wish me luck for tonight and to get through my list! :)
Monday, March 5, 2012
30 in 30
*disclaimer - I wrote this post on 03/02/12, but it has taken till now to get it into the computer and posted for your eyes, I have started to cross things off!
In 30 days I will be 30 years old. I hate to admit it but I'm struggling a bit with this number. I feel like this is becuase I had expectations about my life at 30 and while many of them have come to pass I am struggling to focus on those and not the expectations I have not met. I have decided therefore that I need to do something to really ring in this new decade. I was inspired by a couple of my friends who put a lot more thought and dedication into this idea Amy and Jessii (you should totally check out these links cause I'm super excited that I figured out how to do this). But I did really think through what I want the next month to look like... so here it is, the things I want to accomplish in the next 30 days.
Places to go:
1. Church every Sunday
2. Dinner Date with Bear
3. Zumba class
4. On a 3 mile walk
5. A Day Trip
People to See/Connect with:
6. Jessii
7. Samantha
8. Andrew
9. Deana
10. Michelle
11. Dave & Kim
12. Grandma
13. Celeste
14. Lauren
15. Nicole & Andrew
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day
18. Catch up on laundry
19. Pack away seasonal decorations
20. Rake and Weed the graden
21. Sew somthing
22. Read a whole book on kindle
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock
24. Cook a South African dinner
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA
26. Blog 6 times
27. Research diet options
28. Start Halloween scrapbook
29. Get a massage
30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night
In 30 days I will be 30 years old. I hate to admit it but I'm struggling a bit with this number. I feel like this is becuase I had expectations about my life at 30 and while many of them have come to pass I am struggling to focus on those and not the expectations I have not met. I have decided therefore that I need to do something to really ring in this new decade. I was inspired by a couple of my friends who put a lot more thought and dedication into this idea Amy and Jessii (you should totally check out these links cause I'm super excited that I figured out how to do this). But I did really think through what I want the next month to look like... so here it is, the things I want to accomplish in the next 30 days.
1. Church every Sunday
2. Dinner Date with Bear
3. Zumba class
4. On a 3 mile walk
5. A Day Trip
People to See/Connect with:
6. Jessii
7. Samantha
8. Andrew
9. Deana
10. Michelle
11. Dave & Kim
12. Grandma
13. Celeste
14. Lauren
15. Nicole & Andrew
Things to do:
16. Bike 100 miles
17. Go a week with no more then 2 hours TV/day
18. Catch up on laundry
19. Pack away seasonal decorations
20. Rake and Weed the graden
21. Sew somthing
22. Read a whole book on kindle
23. Spend an afternoon in my hammock
24. Cook a South African dinner
25. Complete TU application & FAFSA
26. Blog 6 times
27. Research diet options
28. Start Halloween scrapbook
29. Get a massage
30. Have a birthday pitch-in/game night
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
The Start Button
On video games there is usually a start button. When I was younger if you hit the start button your game would sometimes reset and go back to the beginning. This was both good and bad. It meant that if your brother was mad at you he could hit the button and loose your progress (honestly that happened mostly the other way around), and it also meant that if the game wasn't going well you could hit the button and get back to a point where it was going well. So that's what I'm doing now. I need to restart.
I doubt that this will be the last restart but who knows (I am working on the being positive thing). I disclosed a while back that I am in a battle with depression. Part of this fight has been working on how I manage myself and my stress. The past month has been stressful, not all bad stress but stress just the same. I am planning a wedding, getting settled into a new job, and worrying about my health and the complications that come with that. I also have been really scared recently about the future. I know I can't predict it, I know I can't control it... I can worry about, I shouldn't worry about it but since that all I can really DO... I DO it. See, Bear and I are thinking about starting a family. But I haven't met all my conditions yet... I had this idea that there were certain things that would have happened in my life by the time I was ready for kids they are as follows:
1. Be semi-fluent in Spanish
2. Both have jobs
3. Have a dog
4. Have a monthly cleaning lady
5. Weigh less
None of those have come to pass, and yet I really want a kid. So I am feeling torn and putting a lot of pressure on myself to figure out are these things necessary, are they good ideas, what do I really need, what is negotiable, how much am I willing to negotiate...
See how I worry.
So that's sort of where I am right now. Trying to fight my depression, figure out the future, and stay in the present. I'm trying to take it day by day and not get overwhelmed but that hasn't been the case this month... here's to March. I am making a plan which I'll post about soon, we will see if that helps!
Stay tuned...
I doubt that this will be the last restart but who knows (I am working on the being positive thing). I disclosed a while back that I am in a battle with depression. Part of this fight has been working on how I manage myself and my stress. The past month has been stressful, not all bad stress but stress just the same. I am planning a wedding, getting settled into a new job, and worrying about my health and the complications that come with that. I also have been really scared recently about the future. I know I can't predict it, I know I can't control it... I can worry about, I shouldn't worry about it but since that all I can really DO... I DO it. See, Bear and I are thinking about starting a family. But I haven't met all my conditions yet... I had this idea that there were certain things that would have happened in my life by the time I was ready for kids they are as follows:
1. Be semi-fluent in Spanish
2. Both have jobs
3. Have a dog
4. Have a monthly cleaning lady
5. Weigh less
None of those have come to pass, and yet I really want a kid. So I am feeling torn and putting a lot of pressure on myself to figure out are these things necessary, are they good ideas, what do I really need, what is negotiable, how much am I willing to negotiate...
See how I worry.
So that's sort of where I am right now. Trying to fight my depression, figure out the future, and stay in the present. I'm trying to take it day by day and not get overwhelmed but that hasn't been the case this month... here's to March. I am making a plan which I'll post about soon, we will see if that helps!
Stay tuned...
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